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For my Saïx ♥
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Kotomine eating mapo tofu is a double dose of hot.
Pun intended.
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Patriarchal Bullshit from a (now-former) friend and the rants that followed
I want to preface this by saying that this person and I were friends for ten years, and that if I’d known he had such anti-choice views, I wouldn’t have remained his friend. This outright shocked me. I shared a link on Facebook to raise awareness about women’s choice suppression and… well, you can see for yourself.
I forwarded his messages to a few of my friends and this is what happened:
(and once again, if I’d known how fucked up his view concerning women and abortion was, I wouldn’t have remained his friend.)
As a result, Brynn posted this, and the following conversation ensued:
And now back to the messages:
(There was part of the conversation that I did not screencap, for the privacy of one of the other people involved, in reply to Gina saying she had no patience for patriarchal assholes who shove their worldviews down women’s throats, and that respect is earned, not given.)
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Kotomine’s Advice
“Such an interesting question. Ha-pff hahahahaha, experience happiness? Pleasure? Exhilarated? Myself? This being before your eyes? Hahahahaha, indeed I do. After my heart was replaced those fateful ten years ago, I awoke.. to hell greeting me. Everything was burning, everything was melting, everything was turning to ash, everyone was dying, no most of them were already dead. Before I could even begin to understand the situation around me, a familiar figure appeared and told me, that what was around me was the product of my wish. My, reason for living. In other words, my happiness. That’s right, do you understand? That is who I am.”
*sighs, and regains composure. Then starts talking again, as if the previous seemingly out of character speech, for a composed man such as the priest, never happened.*
I trained and was brought up by the holiest of men, undergo the most difficult of tasks to reach enlightenment, became a priest, an exorcist of the unholy ones, and yet.. the only thing that could positively move my heart is the pain of others. The pain of having lost their siblings, the suffering on facing an incurable disease, the misery of having to dispose of their own loved ones, the unfairness of the world, whose weight crushes those with the most noble of ideals and allows the worst of people to ascend to greatness. This is me. This is what I call..happiness. And this is why, I love humans more than everyone else.”
The moment Marluxia uttered the question, Kotomine’s state drastically changed. Was it amusement? Was it regret? Pity? Despair? Passion? Happiness? Madness? One couldn’t tell. And seconds after he uttered his last sentence, Kotomine had already started talking in a frenzied manner. He talked fast. As his clear words echoed in the almost empty Church, while the only other sound was the flickering of candles that provided the light for the two men, he seemed crazy, no..blessed. His words were a product of a broken man. A man whose designs would lead anyone associated with him to face disaster. And yet, when he started talking calmly again, one couldn’t but see the man as being holy, pure. He saw all this as not evilness. His words of loving humans were no lie. But he was a different man in a world that mostly had quite the opposite perspective than him. Yes, he was certainly pure. Pure evil, that is.Sapphire eyes glowed as Kotomine described how he’d awoken and the feelings of his exhilaration. The priest seemed to light up as he spoke of his memory.
“That sounds…wonderful,” Marluxia whispered enviously. ”I wish I could feel such rapture as you obviously did.”
As Kotomine calmed down and continued his explanation, Marluxia listened, still searching for that fascinating light the man had previously held. ”I see… Well, Father Kotomine, you might have a bit of fun with the keyblade wielder I mentioned. Nothing seems to tear him up more than to be away from his friends, one of whom my dear colleague Saïx has kidnapped and is holding in one of his castles, and one of whom another colleague, Vexen, has cloned. Vexen’s planning to introduce our little hero to the clone of his friend, which should cause some lovely confusion and disturbance.” He smirked and reached into a portal of darkness he’d created by his hand, pulling out a small crystal ball and handing it to Kotomine. ”If you’d care to watch the goings-on, you may do so through here,” he purred, watching the man intently through the flickering candlelight.
“Humans certainly are entertaining,” Marluxia acknowledged, “but Xaldin has proved that it is not only humans that can offer such entertainment. There is a certain Beast whom he’s managed to provoke into believing no-one could ever care for it and that everyone is plotting to take things away from it. He seems to derive real pleasure from encouraging the Beast to feed its anger, and he’s good at it, too. Then again, Xaldin seems to be one of the members of the Organization who doesn’t want his heart back. He thinks humans are foolish and certainly doesn’t share your love for them. Of course, as I said, I do find them entertaining, but I prefer it when they can assist me in reaching my goals.” He spoke frankly and, since he was out of the castle and not putting on airs for his colleagues, plainly. It was easy to speak his mind with this priest who was doing the same.
After a few moments of silence, he finally withdrew his hand from the priest’s chest, slowly, an elegant gesture that suggested that it had just now occurred to him. He saw Kotomine as something to be admired, something to strive for, rather than something to be feared. He recognised that the man could easily rain destruction anywhere he went…and that was why Marluxia wanted to introduce this dark priest to the Organization, and Xemnas in particular.
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kotomine-kirei replied to your post: It’s ironic that Kotomine makes a better Nobody than all of the Organization XIII blogs I’ve seen so far.I’ll take it as a compliment. Will reply after I finish my picture-reblog spree XD
Oh, it’s definitely a compliment— well, to you, anyway. I don’t think the other KH RPers will like it much XD But, you know that anon you got with the no-longer-innocent bones of children being used as sex toys? Yeah, that was from me. And if I’d tried that with any of the KH-verse RPers I’ve met on Tumblr, they’d have been all “Ew, gross, even though we don’t canonically have the heart to be squeamish about things like this!”
Ah, I see. Well, one of the first asks I ever got was that Kotomine didn’t know the meaning of true pain because he hadn’t experienced, um, womanly troubles. So, really, I’m okay with everythingXD There are good RPers here though. All the Fate/buddies I met here are absolutely awesome. As I’m not exactly an RP-blog, I don’t particularly look for RP partners, but those who found me, I treasure so far.
Well, Fate seems to be a much more relaxed fandom than KH, so far, and I’m pleased about that. I’m actually debating making an Ilya account, now.
Also it’s your turn :3
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kotomine-kirei replied to your post: It’s ironic that Kotomine makes a better Nobody than all of the Organization XIII blogs I’ve seen so far.I’ll take it as a compliment. Will reply after I finish my picture-reblog spree XD
Oh, it’s definitely a compliment— well, to you, anyway. I don’t think the other KH RPers will like it much XD But, you know that anon you got with the no-longer-innocent bones of children being used as sex toys? Yeah, that was from me. And if I’d tried that with any of the KH-verse RPers I’ve met on Tumblr, they’d have been all “Ew, gross, even though we don’t canonically have the heart to be squeamish about things like this!”
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Kotomine’s Advice
“Far? Hmph. I’m nowhere near the end of that, research if one can call it that, and I fear, I will never be, no matter what I do. I’m pleased however, that I’ve come a long way since 10 years ago. Back then, I could not even allow myself the freedom to experience happiness. Perhaps, even though I had a legitimate heart back then, I was closer, in nature, to people like you.” Kotomine said like the notion was half amusing, yet half regretful.
“So, returning to my original question, you are somewhat victims from what I understand. Shouldn’t you equip yourselves with weapons similar to those.. Key-Blades (ooc: I purposefully wrote it like this, as to hint that Kirei didn’t quite understand the secret meaning a blade that could also serve as a key, but it intrigued him, even though he tries not to show it at the moment) you said they were called? In order to try and fight your way through the source that produces/commands creatures like these? Not only, could you satisfy any notion of revenge that some of you might have, though I suppose with no emotion, maybe that’s irrelevant, but it could also serve to help for clues of why and how that’s happening. And perhaps for a way to, reverse your situation since you’re quite dissatisfied from what you say, despite the possible advantages your condition might offer in return.”
Yes, Kotomine found their plans, somewhat against their original purpose. Also, did that man mention that the Heartless killed them and took their Hearts? Then, getting their hearts back could be suicidal. Or maybe not, perhaps he was thinking too much. And those enemies of them, why do they wage war against them? It seems, this is but one painting in a huge museum, and only by examining the whole museum, could an outsider like Kotomine reach a clear understanding of the situation.Ten years ago… It was certainly a long time, as far as Marluxia was concerned; he had only been a Nobody for the past few years or so.
“Then… you can experience happiness now, even though you lack a heart?” Marluxia asked, intrigued. ”Please tell me more about that…”
He frowned slightly at what Kotomine said next. ”We do have weapons. I myself carry a scythe. And we are vulnerable to each other’s weapons, to a point, but … Keyblades /choose/ their wielders. We cannot equip ourselves with them,” he tried to explain, “because they reject us. And it is only Keyblade wielders who can permanently kill off Heartless; if any other person tries to, they will disappear and then respawn.” Marluxia grimaced.
“Actually, we are still quite vengeful,” he admitted. ”It’s not that we have /no/ emotion; it’s that we can only feel the most base and selfish of emotions. We do frequently commit petty vengeance and pranks against each other.”
((Bahaha, trying to explain the KH-verse is fun.))
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Quote of the day
Abusing empathy to project lust onto celibate men is fun. It’s like rape, but without all the pesky legal consequences.-me -
It’s ironic that Kotomine makes a better Nobody than all of the Organization XIII blogs I’ve seen so far.
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Hopefully one with people angry enough to effect change
(via tolyslaurinaitiss)
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Kotomine’s Advice
“I would be interesting into the details as to how someone gets like that. It would, perhaps help me unveil the truth of a question that haunts me, all my life. But, from what I understand, you are in a hurry, correct?”
Kotomine pondered a bit. Giving away Lancer for a bit, shouldn’t be a hassle. He could call him back him wherever he want, and he could use their connection of Master-Servant to look things through Lancer’s eyes, and get a better understanding of the Heartless, and this mysterious organization, even if he didn’t get to meet them himself.
“I suppose, that extremely happy people, would be in total agony, having lost the ability to feel that kind of emotion forever. So in a way, you might be right. Perhaps, being a Nobody suits some, and is a different kind of despair for others. As for the evil? It’s not like one adjective can paint the whole picture of a person, so the more we get, the closer we come to understanding ourselves. Surely, that is a reason to rejoice, no?”
The details of how someone gets like that… Marluxia lowered his eyes. ”It was an attack by creatures called ‘Heartless’ in a particular group of worlds,” he said quietly. ”They attack defenseless humans and steal their hearts. That’s actually why the Keybladers exist— to oppose the Heartless— but it seems that they view us Nobodies as evil as well, so they oppose us too.”
He looked up again. ”Every day, Xemnas comes closer and closer to complete world domination, and the rest of us come no closer to getting our hearts back. Yes, time is a factor, but I’m also rather impatient,” he admitted.
Something else Kotomine said made Marluxia frown. ”Well, Demyx, another member of the Organization, doesn’t seem to be too bothered. He must have been a very happy person in life. He insists that we still have hearts, but he’s the only one who still thinks so. It does make sense that being a Nobody suits some of us, like Xaldin and Vexen, for example. Xaldin seems to think humans are foolish, and Vexen’s only interested in science.” He paused. ”…This is paradoxical, but Xemnas’s second-in-command, Saïx, is as emotionless as we come, and yet he seems to want his heart back the most.”
Marluxia smiled again. He liked Kotomine’s use of the word ‘rejoice’, especially since he himself had had so little reason to do so lately. ”Yes. I suppose you’re right,” he agreed amenably. ”And it’s certainly true that ‘evil’ is not necessarily incompatible with other adjectives. Tell me, Father, how far have you come in understanding yourself?”
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Kotomine’s Advice
“I think, it is probably more rewarding in a practical sort of sense.”
The priest took a few seconds to phrase it correctly.
“I believe, that emotions, even though they might provide all sorts of positive feelings, are not actually as perfect as most people make them out to be. My most powerful enemy, was a man who locked away his emotions. It was thank to that, that he managed to calculate every enemy’s skills and weaknesses and prepare accordingly so that he could acquire complete and total victory. I lost to that man despite me being stronger altogether. And he is probably not the only person who resorts to that kind of treatment (regarding his/her emotions) so that he could live life the way he wanted to.”
“After all, there are also the bad emotions, sadness, despair. Just a while ago, I had to help someone rethink about suicide. Without emotions, cruel and unproductive thoughts like these, are no more.”
“As for your previous statement, I’ll take the description of ‘evil’ as a compliment. Only my nemesis has called me that.”Hmm… Then was Kotomine saying that emotions only got in the way?
“Yes…” Marluxia acknowledged Kotomine’s example with a slight nod. “But he /chose/ to lock his emotions away. We, meaning Organization XIII, didn’t have a choice in the matter. It took us by surprise.” Well, he didn’t know that Xemnas and five other members had chosen to thrust away their own hearts for a dangerous experiment, but if he had, his stance probably wouldn’t have changed.
He tilted his head again. ”Well, I think some of us do feel despair. We feel selfish things, as I said, but we do not feel proper joy or contentment. I believe most of us miss that feeling. You do have a point in that none of us are suicidal, but there are a few who rush headlong into battle without thinking. Well, except for the keyblade and some of each others’ powers, we are nearly invulnerable.”
His smile, which had disappeared momentarily, returned and even brightened. ”You are a very practical man, then, to accept ‘evil’ as a compliment. It is only the self-righteous and, dare I say ‘whiny’, who reject such a description.”
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Kotomine’s Advice
“Hmph.” A smirk momentarily appeared on the priests lips. Thinking that the other party, could perhaps feel mocked at the notion, he quickly offered an explanation.
“Ah, apologies for that short interval. But to think that someone would voluntarily register himself as an undead, to a member of the Holy Church is unthinkable. Our very foundation rests on exterminating vampires and other monsters that defy reason, so if you have said that to someone other than me, this place would have immediately turned to a battlefield.”
And then he started registering the man’s words to his mind. So basically, they act as if they have no soul. But they still possess their mind, so they can decide what they want with means other than what pleases them. An example would be that if someone, used to neglect work to watch his favorite TV program, after turning into a heartless he would probably dedicate more time for his work in order to yield better results, more money, etc. Practicality over sentimentality. At least the way, he said it. The priest started to wonder how that Xemnas thought of this, or if someone higher in their hierarchy existed, what he or she thought about their condition.
“There is one thing I fail to understand though. Are there disadvantages in being as you are now? Why would you wish for your heart back? In retrospect, I can’t think why you wouldn’t, seeing as it was once yours, and you want what you lost/was taken from you. But isn’t more advantageous for you to be like that? Though I suppose, you could have some disadvantages that you could be hiding from someone like me, in which case, I suppose it doesn’t matter.”
He was going to ask for more, but a glimpse of the man’s eyes seemed dangerous for just a second. Usually, Kotomine wouldn’t pay it any mind, but the former executor’s instincts, told him, that caution would be necessary while dealing with..Nobodies.Marluxia merely smiled at Kotomine’s taunting.
“Well, to think that a Nobody such as myself would ever set foot in a holy church and ask a priest for advice is similarly unthinkable. I’m surprised I didn’t catch fire the second I set foot in here. And, of course, Xemnas would consider a man such as you a heretic, but then, he’s a cult leader, so that’s perhaps understandable.” He tilted his head. ”Come to think of it, you must be a very evil man,” he said thoughtfully. “Xemnas would probably like you, despite the fact that you’re a priest. He is our leader, and there is no-one above him, but he’s opposed by a group of children with a particular weapon against which we are, sadly, vulnerable.” Marluxia pursed his lips. ”I had a plan to capture the strongest of them and use him as our puppet, but something tells me that plan might fall through, and a plan that is not absolutely to my advantage is thusly unacceptable.”
He thought about Kotomine’s question for a moment.
“Well… We want our hearts back so that we can feel again, and so that we can find some enjoyment in life. It is hollow without a heart. Surely you must know that too?” he asked, voicing his assumption.
Hmm… Something gave him pause. Was it really more advantageous to be a Nobody? If they had their hearts back, they’d have consciences as well, and they might begin to regret all their evil deeds. That would be inconvenient. But then, once all that pesky guilt went away, they might actually be able to enjoy life again…! To love, to experience pleasure that wasn’t strictly physical! That was what Marluxia looked forward to.
He decided to ask, just to make sure. ”Would you say that there are more advantages than disadvantages in being literally heartless?” That little smirk was upon his face as he asked his nonetheless sincere question.
